Electricity

I was in Cincinnati this weekend hanging out with a good friend and watching a Reds game when I got a text message, the power was back on. After nearly a week of taking cold showers by candlelight, eating out continuously, and having to walk to the library to watch tv, in a strange way I felt let down by the fact that the power was back on. The whole week I listened to myself and others complained about how terrible it was that we couldn't watch cable and couldn't fix a frozen pizza in the oven. Despite the fact that these are really great comforts to have, I felt ridiculous every time I complained about it. Hurricane Ike ripped through Texas and took people's homes, businesses, and the like, and I'm pissed off because I can't watch the new episode of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. In any event, the power outage was a very keen reminder that there are way too many comforts that we take for granted. Sadly, it only reminded me of my own self-centeredness, and I find it ironic that it took a power outage to give me that little insight (lightbulb!).

Conversation Between Myself and My Beloved Sister Kara

Haller231 (4:44:24 PM): you're weird

Haller231 returned at 4:44:24 PM.

JaySilverheels86 (4:45:17 PM): don't knock it til you try it

Haller231 (4:45:24 PM): ok

Haller231 (4:45:29 PM): how's school

Haller231 (4:46:43 PM): i actually have to go but i'll talk to you later this weekend

JaySilverheels86 (4:46:51 PM): haha...fair enough, c-ya

Haller231 (4:47:40 PM): by the way Lauren said she would have been your date for the wedding this weekend

Haller231 (4:47:42 PM): later

JaySilverheels86 (4:48:20 PM): later!

JaySilverheels86 (4:48:24 PM): i meant later~

Haller231 went away at 4:48:29 PM.

JaySilverheels86 (4:48:30 PM): not later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---

Auto Response from Haller231 (4:48:30 PM): I'm around.....Dinner for camp Kesem.....

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JaySilverheels86 (4:48:43 PM): ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

JaySilverheels86 (4:48:45 PM): ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

JaySilverheels86 (4:48:46 PM): ahhhhhhhhh

JaySilverheels86 (4:48:47 PM): ahhhhh

The screen name is not currently accepting Instant Messages.

JaySilverheels86 (4:48:48 PM): ahhhhhahhhhhhh

JaySilverheels86 (4:48:49 PM): ahhhhhha

JaySilverheels86 (4:48:50 PM): hhhhha

JaySilverheels86 (4:48:52 PM): hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaa

JaySilverheels86 (4:48:54 PM): ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

JaySilverheels86 (4:48:56 PM): haaaaaa

JaySilverheels86 (4:48:58 PM): ahaahahhaha

JaySilverheels86 (4:48:59 PM): hhhhhhhha

JaySilverheels86 (4:49:00 PM): ahhhhhhhhhh

JaySilverheels86 (4:49:01 PM): ahhhhhh

JaySilverheels86 (4:49:03 PM): hhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Haller231 (4:49:09 PM): i'm going to drive to dayton and kill your dumbass if you don't stop

Haller231 returned at 4:49:10 PM.

JaySilverheels86 (4:49:26 PM): who is my dumbass? oh, slam

Haller231 signed off at 4:49:34 PM.

Hilarious Casebooks

I just read this passage from a casebook and found it incredibly hilarious:

"Austin cooked a continental dinner for a new acquaintance, Berwyn, served in candlelight and accompanied by excellent French wines. After dinner the couple sat on the sofa listening to Traviata and sipping Benedictine and Brandy. The moment came, as it must in every scene of this sort, in which Austin drew closer and with parted lips looked in Berwyn's eyes. A kiss was imparted and Austin's hand caressed Berwyn's neck. Suddenly, to the surprise of everyone, there was a snap as a vertebra in Berwyn's neck broke."

Whaaaa??

What I Have Learned

This is a small list of the top ten things I have learned in law school in the first couple weeks of class:

10. There are a lot of exceptionally bright people in my class
9. It is no longer cool to go to the bar where all the undergrads hang out
8. Despite what the professors say, stupid questions do indeed exist
7. Trashy TV has never felt so refreshing
6. The workload is like studying for a test every night
5. The Socratic method is terrifying at times, but necessary
4. Ramen noodles are the key to keeping loan interest at bay
3. Your loan money that goes towards tuition essentially disappears before you see it
2. Interest is insane and I have a new-found hatred for banks
1. The class elections are almost as hilarious to watch unfold as the presidential election

This Just In: Barack Obama was Conceived by Two Men

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

How Can McCain Get That Exciting Edge?

Meeting the Parents

This video really makes me laugh.

Have you thought about the effects of not recycling? Can you imagine if everywhere you went, light refracted when passing through water to reveal a spectrum of colors? This is what our world is coming to, and I posted this video as a reminder that we all have a responsibility, nay, a God given right to a clean world to live in and within which we can raise our children safely. In case you missed the message in this video, this means that we need a President that will rid our country of rainbows, or as I like to call them: 'Godless Marauding Killing Machines.' Can you imagine what would happen if someone had the audacity to build a prism?

UPDATE: This woman was later found dead of rainbow poisoning. Her survivors are in the process of suing the State of California.

I have decided to renew my attempts at blogging as a way for me to detach (or reinforce) my new life as a monk studying law. There are a lot of new tools to use, so I'm hoping this will be an easier way for me to post pictures, videos, and other such things, as well as provide an easier way to keep in touch with a lot of you. The new url will be www.crownofthorns.com. For my first couple posts, I'm revising a couple drafts that I had written a few years ago and never posted, just because it is fun to think of where I was then and how long ago it now seems. I have decided not to really change the name of my blog, simply because it still seems incredibly relevant to my life...especially if you add to the end of it, as coined in the Johnny Cash cover of a Nine Inch Nails song "I wear this crown of thorns, upon my liar's chair (watch above video). The only difference is that I have never been a drug addict and I'm not rich. The video is one of my all time favorites and definitely worth a watch. Other than that, keep checking back, I hope to write as frequently as I am able. God bless!

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a
tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is
worthless.
-- James 1:26


Not only do we not know God except through Jesus Christ; We do
not even know ourselves except through Jesus Christ.
-- Blaise Pascal

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the
mountains fall into the heart of the sea.
-- Psalm 46:1-2

Faith, mighty faith the promise sees|And rests on that
alone:|Laughs at impossibilities,|And says it shall be done.
-- Charles Wesley

The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.
-- Psalm 103:6

Nails were not enough to hold God-and-man nailed and fastened on
the Cross, had not love held Him there.
-- Catherine of Siena

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let
your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
-- Philippians 4:4-5

Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if
revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then
honor.
-- Romans 13:7

Accustom yourself gradually to carry Prayer into all your daily
occupation -- speak, act, work in peace, as if you were in
prayer, as indeed you ought to be.
-- François Fénelon

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is
your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then
vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we
will live and do this or that."
-- James 4:14

Whoever strives to withdraw from obedience, withdraws from
grace.
-- Thomas à Kempis

Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow.
-- Psalm 144:4

Be able to be alone. Lose not the advantage of solitude, ... but
delight to be alone and single with Omnipresency... Life is pure
flame, and we live by an invisible sun within us.
-- Sir Thomas Browne

Hate evil, love good; maintain justice in the courts. Perhaps
the LORD God Almighty will have mercy on the remnant of Joseph.
-- Amos 5:15


Do not be too quick to condemn the man who no longer believes in
God: for it is perhaps your own coldness and avarice and
mediocrity and materialism and selfishness that have chilled his
faith.
-- Thomas Merton

These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality,
however, is found in Christ.
-- Colossians 2:17

We ought not to be weary of doing little things for the love of
God, who regards not the greatness of the work, but the love
with which it is performed.
-- Brother Lawrence

We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us
understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in
him who is true -- even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God
and eternal life.
-- 1 John 5:20

Don't tell them that Jesus loves them until you're ready to love
them.
-- Author Unknown

Every person born in this world represents something new,
something that never existed before, something original and
unique.
-- Martin Buber

For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust
suffering because he is conscious of God.
-- 1 Peter 2:19


The great thing to remember is that, though our feelings come
and go, His love for us does not.
-- C. S. Lewis

Peter and John replied, "Judge for yourselves whether it is
right in God's sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot
help speaking about what we have seen and heard."
-- Acts 4:19-20


Wherever there is any element of pride or of conceit, Jesus
cannot expound a thing. He will take us through the
disappointment of a wounded pride of intellect, through
disappointment of heart. He will reveal inordinate
affections-things over which we never thought He would have to
get us alone.
-- Oswald Chambers

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world
can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made
for another world.
-- C. S. Lewis

We must be willing to get rid of the life we have planned, so as
to have the life that is awaiting us.
-- Joseph Campbell

What seems too difficult for us is a sure sign that it belongs
to God.
-- Marie DePree

[Jesus said,] "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest."
-- Matthew 11:28

The Son of God became the Son of man so that the sons of men
might become the sons of God.
-- Terry Fullam

[Jesus said,] "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God;
trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were
not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place
for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back
and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."
-- John 14:1-3

Without faith... nothing is possible. With it... nothing is
impossible.
-- Mary McLeod Bethune

[Jesus said,] "I have told you these things, so that in me you
may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take
heart! I have overcome the world.
-- John 16:33

This is what the Lord says, ... "Forget the former things; do
not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs
up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and
streams in the wasteland."
-- Isaiah 43:16,18-19

God never made a promise that was too good to be true.
-- Dwight L. Moody

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old
has gone, the new has come!
-- 2 Corinthians 5:17

Perhaps God brings us to the end of our resources so we can
discover the vastness of His.
-- Neil Anderson

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be
terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be
with you wherever you go.
-- Joshua 1:9

Against the backdrop of people who avoid work, cut corners, and
do half-hearted jobs, a diligent man stands out. Practicing
diligence is an excellent way to stand out for Christ at home,
in the workplace, and even at church.
-- Dr. David Jeremiah

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with
what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never
will I forsake you."
-- Hebrews 13:5

Christians are supposed to not merely endure change, not even to
profit by it, but to cause it.
-- Henry Emerson Fosdick

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
-- 2 Corinthians 4:18

For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and
ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake.
-- 2 Corinthians 4:5

For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has
any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself
through love.
-- Galatians 5:6

Brotherhood doesn't come in a package. It is not a commodity to
be taken down from the shelf with one hand -- it is an
accomplishment of soul-searching, prayer and perseverance.
-- Oveta Culp Hobby

If Only I Could Keep You Guessing

I would continue this careful dance with you
If dancer’s shoes I wore
Upon my feet they would clumsily cling
But that was many years before

What is before but long begotten past?
An instance for times dawdling hand to leave nothing left to last

But nothing of much can nothing create
For things long forgotten or ignored
I’ve learned that lasting is not an illness
For which I must die to find a cure

Would loving last a loving girl
Of that I’ve never been sure
All I know is that you speak to my soul
And that is more than enough, be sure

I’ll fall for your words like I always do
Wrapped up in a smile that belongs to you
So hold me tight and crinkle that nose
And make me smile back at you

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds
you plant.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson

The angel said to [Mary], "Do not be afraid, you have found
favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and
you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be
called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the
throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of
Jacob forever."
-- Luke 1:30-33

The Spirit of God will not lead a man where the grace of God
cannot keep him.
-- Author Unknown

God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a
virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of
David. The virgin's name was Mary. The angel went to her and said,
"Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."
-- Luke 1:26-28

Watch your thoughts; they become words.|Watch your words; they
become actions.|Watch your actions; they become habits.|Watch
your habits; they become character.|Watch your character; it
becomes your destiny.
-- Frank Outlaw

When [King Herod] had called together all the people's chief
priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was
to be born. "In Bethlehem in Judea," they replied, "for this is
what the prophet has written: 'But you, Bethlehem, in the land of
Judah, are by no means the least among the rulers of Judah; for out
of you will come a ruler who will be the shepherd of my people
Israel.'"
-- Matthew 2:4-6

If we would learn from our prosperity, we would not need so much
adversity.
-- Charles H. Spurgeon

But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a
woman, born under law, ... that we might receive the full rights of
sons.
-- Galatians 4:4-5

I longed to be a flame of fire continually glowing in the divine
service and building up of Christ's kingdom to my last and dying
breath.
-- David Brainerd

[Jesus said,] "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man
remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me
you can do nothing. ... This is to my Father's glory, that you bear
much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples."
-- John 15:5,8

If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found
out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in
the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should
never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning.
-- C. S. Lewis

Apathy is the glove into which evil slips its hand.
-- Bodie Thoene

So...this just in:

Vice president Cheney's lesbian daughter is pregnant.

and...

Some woman got bit by a bat that was hiding in a Christmas tree.

This is going to be a VERY good day.

Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate
for the sheep. ... whoever enters through me will be saved. He will
come in and go out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal
and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have
it the full."
-- John 10:7,9-10

The refiner is never very far from the mouth of the furnace when
His gold is in the fire.
-- Charles H. Spurgeon

We, the Traitors

Adam Michnik, Gazeta Wyborcza (liberal), Warsaw, Poland, March 28, 2003

A German journalist published an article in the paper Die Tageszeitung in which he claimed that Vaclav Havel, Adam Michnik, and George Konrad, Europe’s long-standing moral authorities, had suddenly become undiscriminating admirers of America.

I read that article with a twinge of nostalgia. Here we were, together again. Our three names were grouped together for the first time by Timothy Garton Ash in his widely acclaimed essay nearly two decades ago. If I recall correctly, Havel and I were doing jail time then, and Konrad’s books were banned from print in Hungary. Even though we did not meet very often, we maintained a common ground in our reflections on the worlds of values and of politics. We were united by a dream of freedom, a dream of a world infused with tolerance, hope, respect for human dignity, and a refusal of conformist silence in the face of evil.

We were also united by the specific wisdom of people familiar with “history unleashed,” the experience of the acute loneliness of people subject to the pressures of totalitarian despotism and doomed to the world’s indifference. Every Hungarian citizen had retained the image of Budapest burning in November 1956, every citizen of Czechoslovakia was haunted by the sight of Soviet tanks on the streets of Prague in 1968, every Pole was to keep in the back of his mind the memory of Warsaw in the fall of 1944, murdered by Hitler and deserted by its allies.

We were not fanatics of primitive anticommunism. We saw communism as a historical phenomenon and communists as people capable of becoming democrats. Later, too, after 1989, we—Konrad, Havel, and I—did not like the fundamentalism of anticommunist radicals, especially those who remained quiet throughout the years of the dictatorship and were now eager to string up the communists. I am bringing all of this up to explain who these three traitors of the new generation are, those accused of blind, conformist pro-Americanism by the German journalist.

I do not know whether Havel and Konrad agree, but I will present my own perspective.

I aim to avoid double standards in thinking about the world. I thus aim to use the same criteria in assessing the arrogance of all great powers, not just the Bush administration.

I remember my nation’s experience with totalitarian dictatorship. This is why I was able to draw the right conclusions from Sept. 11, 2001. Just as the murder of Giacomo Matteotti [leader of Italy’s United Socialist Party] revealed the nature of Italian fascism and Mussolini’s regime; just as the great Moscow trials showed the world the essence of the Stalinist system; just as “Kristallnacht” exposed the hidden truth of Hitler’s Nazism, watching the collapsing World Trade Center towers made me realize that the world was facing a new totalitarian challenge. Violence, fanaticism, and lies were challenging democratic values.

This is not the place to analyze the ideology that, while disfiguring the religion of Islam, creates a crusade against the democratic world. Saddam Hussein takes part in this just as Hitler and Stalin did before him. He asserts that in the holy war with the “godless West” all methods are permitted. Waiting for this sort of regime to obtain weapons of mass destruction would be plain recklessness.

This logic is accused of leading to the idealization of the United States, of not leaving room for critical reflection on American policies. In answer to this, I guarantee that I have not forgotten about the U.S. intervention in Vietnam or the American support of despotic, anticommunist regimes in Latin America—the perpetual argument of the intellectuals of the Western European left. However, I also have not forgotten that the American defeat in Vietnam resulted in the North’s armed conquest of the South and a wave of terrible repression. I also realize that while condemning the dictatorships of [Rafael] Trujillo or [Augusto] Pinochet, I should remember the dictatorship of Fidel Castro. Brutal power is equally repugnant whether executed under a red banner or a black one. The belief that there was no rightist or leftist torture, no progressive or reactionary torture, was a fundamental principle we lived by. It led us to reject the hypocrisy of the Western left, which proclaimed that even bad communism was better than good capitalism because it was the former and not the latter that led to a bright future.

What, then, is our betrayal? Today we reject the notion of equality between a regime that belongs to the democratic world—even if it is conservative and disagreeable—and a totalitarian dictatorship, whether its colors are black, red, or green. This is why we will never again say that Chamberlain is no better than Hitler, Roosevelt no better than Stalin, and Nixon no better than Mao Zedong, even if we do condemn Roosevelt for Yalta, Chamberlain for Munich, and Nixon for Watergate.

We do not like Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon because of his brutality and his primitive demagogy, but we would not equate him with the Hamas leaders who openly call for barbarian suicide attacks. George W. Bush may not be our hero, but he is the one we will support in the war with Bin Laden, Al-Qaeda, and Saddam Hussein.

Many of us participated in the anti-American protests of 1968, which is why we were horrified and guilt-stricken at the image of so many Vietnamese escaping the regime after the communist victory in tiny boats, risking their own lives and those of their families. We also remember the Manichaeism of the supporters of the Viet Cong who burned the American flag but later failed to denounce the regime. We want to avoid this. Today we are not burning the Iraqi flag; we just do not understand those protesting under Saddam Hussein’s portraits.

The hatred felt toward America becomes absurd when it ceases to be a critical stance that is normal within democratic discourse and takes up the defense of brutal, totalitarian dictatorships. The so-called peace movements of the Cold War burned effigies of American presidents and genuflected before Stalin’s portraits. We will not repeat such a masquerade today.

In other words, we understand the complexity of the world and we understand the complicated relationship between desire and possibility. We understand the drama of the war in Chechnya; that is why we do not call Putin “the next Stalin.” For the same reasons, we are not enthusiastic about America’s relations with the dictatorial regime in Saudi Arabia, though we believe that the democratization of Iraq can have a positive influence on the other nations of the Middle East.

Do we like the internal politics of the Bush administration, its projects to spy on citizens, or the rightist rhetoric of the Christian fundamentalists of the Republican Party? No, we do not, though we do believe that the American democracy, the wiser for the lessons of McCarthyism and Watergate, will be capable of protecting itself from the self-poisoning of the “open society.”

The German journalist accuses us of not being concerned about the Bush policies that lead to the suppression of humanitarian principles in international relations. Certainly we are unsettled, but we believe that what leads to the destruction of humanitarian principles is rather the tolerance of totalitarian regimes and the cowardly silence about the crimes of the dictatorships in Iraq, North Korea, Libya, and Cuba. We perceive real moral values in the people who take to the streets of the democratic world to protest against the war. These mass protests arouse the public’s criticism of the elites in power. Every war presents an excellent opportunity to stifle criticism and gag the critics. The climate of war promotes the violation of democratic procedures and the militarization of public life. It creates the belief that there is only one patriotic way of thinking while all other views amount to betrayal.

Still, we are all the wiser for our history. We remember Munich in 1938, which paved the way for Hitler while enjoying the enthusiastic approval of the war’s opponents. We remember Yalta, whose original goal was to prevent war but which led Stalin into our countries. After all, the reasoning of the proponents of the 1938 Munich agreement seemed sound. People wanted peace, not war. They were happy when Chamberlain read the declaration he signed with Hitler and said: “For the second time in our history, a British prime minister has returned from Germany bringing peace with honor. I believe it is peace for our time.” It was Sept. 30, 1938. A year later World War II broke out.

This is why we are at odds with today’s pacifists: We will not peacefully pave the way for those who committed the crimes of Sept. 11 and their allies.

Finally, have we also lost the fear that democratic systems can become totalitarian, as suggested by the German journalist? We have often gone against the grain of public opinion and, before the German publication did, we were accused of betraying our countries. We have spoken about xenophobia and intolerance, about corruption, about the spirit of revenge, about a market devoid of humanity, about the taking over of nations by interest groups or even by mafias. I do not think that Havel’s, Konrad’s, or my own speeches suggest that we have stopped criticizing what is happening in our democratic countries or that we have failed to perceive the temptations and threats of totalitarian regimes.

Today, however, the primary threat is terrorism by Islamist fundamentalists. War has been declared against the democratic world. It is this world, whose sins and mistakes we know all too well, that we want to defend.

These are the reasons behind our absolute war on the terrorist, corrupt, intolerant regime of the despot from Baghdad. One cannot perceive totalitarian threats in George W. Bush’s policies and at the same time defend Saddam Hussein. There are limits to absurdity, which should not be exceeded recklessly.

Adam Michnik is a prominent Polish essayist, former dissident, and editor of Gazeta Wyborcza. This article was reprinted in El País in Madrid, Profil in Vienna, Libération in Paris, and Tages-Anzeiger in Zurich.

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light
of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but
will have the light of life."
-- John 8:12

Deny your weakness, and you will never realize God's strength in
you.
-- Joni Eareckson Tada

Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will
never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty."
-- John 6:35

I know men and I tell you that Jesus Christ was no mere man:
Between Him and whoever else in the world there is no possible
term of comparison.
-- Napoleon

All that the downtrodden can do is go on hoping. After every
disappointment they must find fresh reason for hope.
--Alexander Solzhenitsyn

Cowards die many deaths each day, while the brave die but once.
--Giovanni Falcone

I thought that the following passages were worth sharing in light of the fact that people have been shooting each other and beating each other up over playstations and other useless crap because they want to be the first to have something.

I think that sometimes in life when we experience the shortlived happiness of passing pleasures and material things, we undermine the true and inexorable nature of our own worth. God has made each of us a masterpiece of creation.

-Rev. Tom Wade, Salem UCC

3If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, 4he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions 5and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.

6But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

1 Timothy 6: 3-10

Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name
of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
-- Colossians 3:17

How would telling people to be nice to one another get a man
crucified? What government would execute Mister Rodgers or
Captain Kangaroo?
-- Philip Yancey

But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve...But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.
-- Joshua 24:15

Happy Turkey Day!!!

Enter [the Lord's] gates with thanksgiving and his courts with
praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is
good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues
through all generations.
-- Psalm 100:4-5

Have you thought about His (God) handling of the gospel? God
needs to get a message out the human race, without which they
will perish...forever. What's the plan? First, He starts with
the most unlikely group ever: a couple of prostitutes, a few
fishermen with no better than a second-grade education, a tax
collector. Then, he passes the ball to us. Unbelievable.
-- John Eldredge

I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in
Christ Jesus. For in him you have been enriched in every way - in
all your speaking and in all your knowledge.
-- 1 Corinthians 1:4-5

God is looking for those with whom He can do the impossible--
what a pity that we plan only the things that we can do by
ourselves.
-- A. W. Tozer

Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the
Rock of our salvation. Let us come before him with thanksgiving and
extol him with music and song.
-- Psalm 95:1-2

Rich is the person who has a praying friend.
-- Janice Hughes

Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.
-- John 17:17

Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made
in the small ones.
-- Phillips Brooks

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the
wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of
mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law
he meditates day and night.
-- Psalm 1:1-2

God's power under us, in us, surging through us, is exactly what
turns dependence into unforgettable experiences of completeness.
-- Bruce Wilkinson

Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.
-- Psalm 119:18

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with
yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own
imperfections but instantly set about remedying them -- every
day begin the task anew.
-- Francois de Sales

Jesus hath many lovers of His heavenly Kingdom, but few bearers
of His Cross. He hath many desirous of consolation, but few of
tribulation. Many love Jesus so long as no adversities befall
them.
-- Thomas à Kempis

The lovely maid whose form and face
Nature has deck'd with ev'ry grace,
But in whose breast no virtues glow,
Whose heart ne'er felt another's woe,
Whose hand ne'er smooth'd the bed of pain,
Or eas'd the captive's galling chain;
But like the tulip caught the eye,
Born just to be admir'd and die;
When gone, no one regrets its loss,
Or scarce remembers that it was.

-Susanna Rowson, Charlotte Temple

Veteran's Day 2006

I wasn't able to make a post for Veteran's Day while I was at home so I would just like to post this quote and ask everyone to say this small prayer for our troops:

It is the Soldier, not the minister
Who has given us freedom of religion.
It is the Soldier, not the reporter
Who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the Soldier, not the poet
Who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the Soldier, not the campus organizer
Who has given us freedom to protest.
It is the Soldier, not the lawyer
Who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the Soldier, not the politician
Who has given us the right to vote.
It is the Soldier who salutes the flag,
Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag,
Who allows the protester to burn the flag.
-Province-

Prayer:
"Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they
protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they
perform for us in our time of need. I ask this in the name of Jesus,
our Lord and Savior. Amen."

Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the
unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body
but made alive by the Spirit.
-- 1 Peter 3:18

It is God's will that by doing good you should silence the
ignorant talk of foolish men. Live as free men, but do not use your
freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God.
-- 1 Peter 2:15-16

Men perish with whispering sins--nay, with silent sins, sins
that never tell the conscience that they are sins, as often with
crying sins; and in hell there shall meet as many men that never
thought what was sin, as that spent all their thoughts in the
compassing of sin.
-- John Donne

I sometimes think that the easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly...

The greatest proof of Christianity for others is not how far a
man can logically analyze his reasons for believing, but how far
in practice he will stake his life on his belief.
-- T. S. Eliot

This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's
servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what
you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue;
if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.
-- Romans 13:6


The tragedy of life and of the world is not that men do not know
God; the tragedy is that, knowing Him, they still insist on
going their own way.
-- William Barclay

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around
like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him,
standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers
throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
-- 1 Peter 5:8-9

Many promising reconciliations have broken down because, while
both parties came prepared to forgive, neither party came
prepared to be forgiven.
-- Charles Williams

I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your
bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God -- this is
your spiritual act of worship.
-- Romans 12:1

What you do every day should contribute to giving your life
meaning. If it doesn't, why are you doing it?
-- Don Hutcheson

The word of God is living and active. Sharper than any
double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit,
joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the
heart.
-- Hebrews 4:12

Love begins when the needs of someone else become more important
than your own.
-- Lao Wei

A Man of Many Faces

I was a man of many faces.

And the faces kept multiplying. About a month before summer I began to get close to Marketa, and like all twenty-year-olds I tried to impress her by donning a mask and pretending to be older (in spirit and experience) than I was: I assumed an air of detachment, of aloofness; I made believe I had an extra layer of skin, invisible and impeneterable. I thought (quite rightly) that by joking I would establish my detachment, and though I had always been good at it, the line I used on Marketa always seemed forced, artificial, and tedious.

Who was the real me? I can only repeat: I was a man of many faces.

At meetings I was earnest, enthusiastic, and committed; among friends, unconstrained and given to teasing; with Marketa, cynical and fitfully witty; and alone (and thinking of Marketa), unsure of myself and agitated as a schoolboy.

Was that last face the real one?

No. They were all real: I was not a hypocrite, with one real face and several false ones. I had several faces because I was young and didn't know who I was or wanted to be. (I was frightened by the differences between one face and the next; none of them seemed to fit me properly, and I groped my way clumsily among them.)

The psychological and physiological mechanism of love is so complex that at a certain period in his life a young man must concentrate all his energy on coming to grips with it, and in this way he misses the actual content of the love: the woman he loves.

-The Joke, Milan Kundera

A man finds joy in giving an apt reply -- and how good is a
timely word!
-- Proverbs 15:23

The knowledge of Christ's love for us should cause us to love
Him in such a way that it is demonstrated in our attitude,
conduct, and commitment to serve God. Spiritual maturity is
marked by spiritual knowledge being put into action.
-- Edward Bedore

I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.
-- Psalm 40:8

The winds of God are always blowing, but you must set the sails.
-- Author Unknown

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of
your heart.
-- Psalm 37:4

Don't ask what the world wants, be what the world needs.
-- Ryan Lister

"The Office" Quotes

My new favorite show is "The Office" from NBC. I recently purchased the 1st and 2nd seasons, and decided to post some of my favorite quotes. Enjoy...

[during a "Diversity Day" exercise]
Dwight Schrute: Shalom, I'd like to apply for a loan.
Pam Beesley: That's nice, Dwight.
Dwight Schrute: OK, do me. Something stereotypical so I can get it really quick.
Pam Beesley: OK, I like your food.
Dwight Schrute: Uh, Outback Steakhouse, I'm Australian, mate!
Michael Scott: Pam, come on, "I like your food" no come on, stir the pot. Stir the melting pot, Bam! Let's do it, let's get ugly, let's get real.
Pam Beesley: OK, if I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that i do not agree with, you would maybe not be a very good driver.
Dwight Schrute: [shocked] Aw man, am I a woman?

[Jim set a fence of pencils up between Dwight and his desk]
Dwight Schrute: Your pencils are creating a health hazard. I could fall and pierce an organ.

Dwight Schrute: Someone forged medical information, and that's a felony.
Jim Halpert: OK, Whoa, all right 'cause that's a pretty intense accusation. How do you know that they're fake?
Dwight Schrute: [reading from a sheet] Uh, Leprosy, Flesh Eating Bacteria, Hot Dog Fingers, Government Created Killer Nano Robot Infection.


Dwight Schrute: The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition won't receive the care they need because someone in this office is coming up with ridiculous stuff. Count Choculitis.
Jim Halpert: Sounds Tough.
Dwight Schrute: Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?

Michael Scott: No, I'm not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don't tell them.

Dwight Schrute: Damnit, he put my stapler in jello again.
[Points to Michael]
Dwight Schrute: You can be a witness to this.
Jim Halpert: [eating jello] How do you know it was me?


Oscar: Both my parents were born in Mexico, and they moved to the United States a year before I was born, so I grew up in the United States... my parents were Mexican.
Michael Scott: Wow, that is a great story. That's the American dream right there, right? Um, let me ask you, is there a term besides 'Mexican' that you prefer? Something less offensive?

Dwight Schrute: In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, "Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me and I'm dead." Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion, you're dead.

A Son and Soldier Unafraid, a Family Nonetheless in Grief

I'd appreciate if everyone gave this New York Times article a read. It is about a friend of mine's brother who lost his life serving our great country.

© 2006 New York Times

If God were small enough to be understood, He would not be big
enough to be worshipped.

-- Evelyn Underhill

Whence comes this idea that if what we are doing is fun, it
can't be God's will? The God who made giraffes, a baby's
fingernails, a puppy's tail, a crooknecked squash, the
bobwhite's call, and a young girl's giggle, has a sense of
humor. Make no mistake about that.

-- Catherine Marshall

In Time

I find peace in all the lonely places that I go
And I find it funny that I’d still give my life for you
It just doesn’t feel quite right to be alone

How long will it be before you forget my name?
I wonder as you lift your glass to the way things used to be
Miles away to kiss a man that has taken the place of me

The Lord tells me to wait for my day to come
But my days are numbered, and I count them one by one
Like notches on the handle of an outlaw’s gun

A look to the clouds…you know, I hope and dream just like you do
The difference is my breath stops when I see you
In all of life giving up is what hurts the most

The clouds open up
Brown eyes cryin in the rain...

America the Beautiful

The link above will take you to the Washington Post "Faces of the Fallen," an obituary dedicated to giving a face to fallen soldiers in the Iraq and Afghanistan theatres of war. A friend of mine posted this same link earlier in the year, and with the 4th coming around tomorrow I wanted to share it with those who visit mine. I catch myself getting used to seeing more soldiers killed in Iraq on CNN.com without even giving it a second glance. To click on a name and a face and have a map show you where the soldier lived and grew up is a lot different than seeing a headline full of numbers. How lucky we are to have people that serve our country in the military so that we can enjoy the lives that we live. Regardless of our stance on the war itself and its motivations, it is imperative that we remember the lives that are being given and that have been given without question. I dedicate this post to the deep respect I have for the men and women serving our country in the armed forces, and greater than the awe of any firework I see on the 4th of July is the great sacrifice that these men and women have given for me. Someone 7000 miles away on a computer in Indiana, always wondering in what ways he can be a soldier in his life. These next lyrics come from the television series "Over There." The show isn't actually very good or accurate according to veterans, but I liked the theme song quite a bit and wanted to share it.


The day is comin, the drums are drummin'
If you know one, say a prayer...

There's mothers cryin'
and fathers sighin'
and war is in the air

The trains are fillin' up with boys
Who have left behind all their favorite toys
They're goin over there

Over there,
where someone has to die
Over there...

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his very soul?
-- Mark 8:36

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

My dad bought this for my mom...on purpose.

This fathers day was very unique. My dad bought my mom this luscious lingerie for their trip to Alaska. Maybe he is afraid that after losing so much weight, all the Inuits are going to be after her. Who knows, but after many years...my dad still cracks me up. The best part is that he doesn't even do it on purpose.

The vision-impaired market was lost right before his eyes

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush, who often teases members of the White House press corps, apologized Wednesday after he poked fun at a reporter for wearing sunglasses without realizing they were needed for vision loss.

(courtesy CNN.com)

This is almost as bad as the time I laughed hysterically at a kid who was jumping around and acting goofy in a Radio Flyer driven by his parents only to find out he was mentally retarded a few seconds later. That made for an awkward cover-up. "So did your kid just eat some pop rocks or something, those things are crazy! Welp...c-ya later!" Still not as bad as the "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice.....the fool me can't be fooled." Bush probably isn't helping his polls by making fun of the vision-impaired.

We can stand affliction better than we can prosperity, for in
prosperity we forget God.

-- Dwight L. Moody

Redemption

I was alone with a man and his story.

His words mixed with the alcohol on his breath and the deep red thunder in his eyes. A story unfolded as I looked on, and the Lord sent a chill down my spine reminding me to remember.

Remember the strength behind his glazed eyes and the skip in his step that disappeared long ago…remember the story.

Remember how the steak knife pierced his chest, and how the doctors worked in a frenzy to keep him alive as he looked on.

Remember how his family told him he had died, and returned to live once again.

Remember the 12 pints of blood he lost and the fires of hell he saw.

Remember how he said he lost his memory in blood, but he’ll never forget what pulled him back to life.

Remember how he said that now he doesn't know if being saved was for the best.

I was alone with a man and his story, and I wept.

Not because of his drunken state or the horrors he'd faced. But because both in life and in death he could not find what we all hope and work and dream for the most...redemption.

Elephatass

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) -- So far, it's only the trainers at the Alaska Zoo who seem to be breaking into a sweat.

They've so far made little progress trying to coax Maggie, a somewhat cantankerous African elephant, onto the world's first treadmill for a pachyderm.

For two months, Maggie's trainers have used her favorite treats -- watermelon, apples, carrots, peanuts in the shell, banana slices and sweet potatoes -- to entice the 8,000-pound elephant into exercising on the $100,000 piece of equipment.

"She has two feet on the treadmill and has touched a third one on it," zoo director Pat Lampi said Tuesday. "Every six inches forward is a new goal. There are a lot of steps to go."

Maggie's trainers and zoo staff aren't discouraged.

"It is just a matter of getting that fourth foot up off the concrete floor," elephant trainer Rob Smith said.


Is anyone else bothered by the fact that there are people starving, being sold into the sex trade, and being killed in mass genocides all over the world, and we are building $100,000 treadmills for fat assed elephants?

(Courtesy: CNN.com)

Contact

I remember talking about this particular dialogue from the movie Contact during church camp a couple summers ago, and I saw the movie again a couple nights ago and this scene really refreshed my memory. Ellie Arroway is a scientist who believes only in what she can hear, see, and feel, and she believes that mathematics is the only true universal language of truth. Palmer Joss is a Christian theologan and author, and the two have a strange relationship of love that is in large part formed from the shared tenacity they have to search for truth in the human experience.

Ellie Arroway: So what's more likely? That an all-powerful, mysterious God created the Universe, and decided not to give any proof of his existence? Or, that He simply doesn't exist at all, and that we created Him, so that we wouldn't have to feel so small and alone?
Palmer Joss: Did you love your father?
Ellie Arroway: What?
Palmer Joss: Your dad. Did you love him?
Ellie Arroway: Yes, very much.
Palmer Joss: Prove it.

I don't know many people who don't believe in love.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.
--1 John 4:16 (NIV)

"The knowledge of God is very far from the love of Him."
-- Blaise Pascal

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears
the Lord is to be praised.

-- Proverbs 31:30

If ever I reach heaven I expect to find three wonders there:
first, to meet some I had not thought to see there; second, to
miss some I had expected to see there; and third -- the greatest
wonder of all -- to find myself there.

-- John Newton

We all need love, but we need it most when we deserve it
least--when we have sinned against someone, when we have made
poor choices, when we have failed. In these situations,
ordinary love must become extra-ordinary love.

--Barbara Rosberg

First Date

A Canticle for Liebowitz

I'm not much into sci-fi novels, but this one had a particular passage that I really liked.

"There was the serpent whispering: For God doth know that in what day soever you shall eat thereof, your eyes shall be opened: and you shall be as Gods. The old father of lies was clever at telling half-truths: How shall you 'know' good and evil, until you have sampled a little? Taste and be as Gods. But neither infinite power nor infinite wisdom could bestow godhood upon men. For that there would have to be infinite love as well."

-Dom Paulo, A Canticle for Liebowitz

The Kite Runner

I recently read an amazing book for my Religions of the West class, and I wanted to write down a few of my favorite quotes so that I don't forget them. I hope they make you stop and think in the same way that they did for me.

"Children aren't coloring books. You don't get to fill them with your favorite colors." -Rahim Khan

"When a coward stops remembering who he is...God help him" -Amir

"A man who has no conscience, no goodness, does not suffer." -Rahim Khan

Wisdom is Supreme

1 Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction;
pay attention and gain understanding.

2 I give you sound learning,
so do not forsake my teaching.

3 When I was a boy in my father's house,
still tender, and an only child of my mother,

4 he taught me and said,
"Lay hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands and you will live.

5 Get wisdom, get understanding;
do not forget my words or swerve from them.

6 Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.

7 Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.
Though it cost all you have, [a] get understanding.

8 Esteem her, and she will exalt you;
embrace her, and she will honor you.

9 She will set a garland of grace on your head
and present you with a crown of splendor."

10 Listen, my son, accept what I say,
and the years of your life will be many.

11 I guide you in the way of wisdom
and lead you along straight paths.

12 When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;
when you run, you will not stumble.

13 Hold on to instruction, do not let it go;
guard it well, for it is your life.

14 Do not set foot on the path of the wicked
or walk in the way of evil men.

15 Avoid it, do not travel on it;
turn from it and go on your way.

16 For they cannot sleep till they do evil;
they are robbed of slumber till they make someone fall.

17 They eat the bread of wickedness
and drink the wine of violence.

18 The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.

19 But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
they do not know what makes them stumble.

20 My son, pay attention to what I say;
listen closely to my words.

21 Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;

22 for they are life to those who find them
and health to a man's whole body.

23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.

24 Put away perversity from your mouth;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.

25 Let your eyes look straight ahead,
fix your gaze directly before you.

26 Make level [b] paths for your feet
and take only ways that are firm.

27 Do not swerve to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.

Proverbs 4

A crown of thorns is a crown of responsibility.

Interesting...

You know...I'm not really religious, but I'm very spiritual.

Really? I'm a compulsive liar, but you are really interesting.

HA!

Easter

Today is a day that is more than the Easter dresses and bright Easter ties. It is more than the Easter lilies on the alter, more than even the Easter smiles. Today marks a day where words took on new meaning, and a day that attested that truth, even when resigned to an Earthly grave, cannot be kept there.

There is a Moment in each Day that Satan cannot find.

-- William Blake

Jesus said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must
deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever
wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for
me will save it.
-- Luke 9:23-24

My loves
My tears
My strengths
My fears
My passions
My cries
My idiocyncracies
My lies

Mostly words
Sometimes miles
Always tenderness
Forever smiles

But never a crazy little thing called love

Kill

Well, you're just across the street
Looks a mile to my feet
I wanna go to you
Funny how I'm nervous still
I've always been the easy kill
I guess I always will

Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance?
Or only one way that it was always meant to be
You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

I can picture your face well
From the bar in my hotel
I wish I'd go to you
I pick up put down the phone
Like your favorite Heatmeiser song goes
It's just like being alone

Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain
I need answers for what all the waiting after means
You kill me, you've got some nerve, but can't face your mistakes
I know what I should do, but I just can't turn away

So go on love
Leave while there's still hope for escape
Gotta take what you can these days
There's so much ahead
So much regret
I know what you want to say
I know people can't help feeling differently
I loved you, and I should have said it
Tell me just what has it ever meant?

I can't help it baby, this is who I am
Sorry, but I can't just go turn off how I feel
You kill me, you build me up, but just to watch me break
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

Live by the sword, and you will die by the sword.

Live by love, and you will die by love.

I would rather die in love than stay alive numb.

Barry Bonds: You are dead to baseball.

There is an indiputable fact about the game that I've come to love over the course of my lifetime. The reaction time required to hit a 90 mph fastball from a major league pitcher has easily got to be one of the most difficult things to do in sports, let alone do it well. Don't believe me? Check out this link that will test your reaction time, and this involves only clicking your mouse, let alone using your entire body to hit a small ball with a bat weighing just under a pound with great precision. There is only one game that you can fail 7 times out of 10 and still be considered the greatest hitter in all of baseball, case and point...Barry Bonds: Career Average of .300.

It is no surprise that since his 73 home run season back in 2001, baseball has been swarmed with controversy with the emergence of rumors that players have been abusing steroids in baseball since the early 90's. Jose Conseco wrote a book in 2005 called "Juiced" in which he documented alleged use of steroids by many of the last decades greatest ball players including Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa, propelling them to the much revered "home run race" back in 1998, that was a blast for the hearts of fans and for the hearts of baseball. Everyone believed that the modern superstar status, selfish players, impossible team loyalty, had tarnished the game beyond repair before the 1998 season. As a Cardinals fan, McGuire became my instant hero. I saw him play once in one of his injury laiden last seasons in the majors, the fans roared, and the cameras clicked. It was ephereal. He struck out on three straight pitches, but it didn't matter to me, he was my hero for what he did for baseball.

Since then it has been hard for me to look objectively at his role in the steroid scandal, partially because he was a big guy throughout his entire career, let alone in the year he hit 70 homers. The fact remains that he played before mandatory steroid testing was implemented in baseball, and it is no surprise that owners are just as guilty for the tarnishing of the game. Did they know that players were juicing since the late 80's? Probably. Did they do anything about it? No. Why? Because fans dig the long ball. They want to see the ball hit higher, longer, screaming out of the stadium into the distance, because it is simply an adrenaline rush. Players hitting more home runs = more fans coming to games, and baseball taking the media spotlight during the 1998 home run race. Now shortly thereafter is where Barry Bonds comes into play.

In the newest book out alleging his steroid use "Game of Shadows," that documents Bonds steroid use in detail since 1998, I believe because suddenly his 15 years of MVP play were taking a backseat to the long ball. Anything from human growth hormone to steroids used in horses, apparently Bonds took it. He ballooned from this in his rookie season:

170 pound Rookie


to a 230 behemoth


I'll leave the more complicated statistics to a great writer, Ben Alamar, who documents the change in Bond's performance before and after his alleged steroid abuse. The following table shows the career statistics of those players with number most like those of Barry Bonds as identified by baseballreference.com. All this information is taken directly from ProTrade.com and its subsequent writer.

Athlete R HR RBI BB OBP SLG OPS+
Barry Bonds 2078 708 1853 2311 0.442 0.611 184
Willie Mays 2062 660 1903 1464 0.385 0.565 158
Babe Ruth 2175 714 2217 2062 0.474 0.690 207
Frank Robinson 1829 586 1812 1420 0.389 0.537 154
Hank Aaron 2174 755 2297 1402 0.377 0.567 158
Rafael Palmeiro 1663 569 1835 1353 0.371 0.515 132
Ted Williams 1798 521 1839 2021 0.483 0.633 190
Reggie Jackson 1551 563 1702 1375 0.358 0.493 140
Dave Winfield 1669 465 1833 1216 0.356 0.480 133
Stan Musial 1949 475 1951 1599 0.420 0.566 161
Carl Yastrzemski 1689 419 1663 1683 0.382 0.469 133

"The Game of Shadows" indicates that Barry Bonds began using steroids at 34, so theoretically his numbers can be divided into pre-steroid and post-steroid numbers. The following table represents the numbers of all the same players in comparison to Barry Bonds before they turned 34, and how his number compare percentage wise.

Athlete R HR RBI BB OBP SLG OPS+
Barry Bonds 1364 411 1216 1357 0.411 0.556 163
Willie Mays 1379 453 1290 873 0.388 0.589 162
Babe Ruth 1447 470 1411 1358 0.479 0.709 214
Frank Robinson 1428 450 1377 1017 0.394 0.555 157
Hank Aaron 1519 481 1541 802 0.374 0.565 157
Rafael Palmeiro 1061 314 1079 735 0.365 0.503 132
Ted Williams 1275 324 1264 1329 0.484 0.634 190
Reggie Jackson 1051 369 1120 851 0.361 0.508 149
Dave Winfield 1045 281 1130 714 0.355 0.481 135
Stan Musial 1396 292 1253 1054 0.431 0.584 171
-
Average 1289 381.5 1273.8 970.3 0.403 0.569 163
Bonds/Average 106% 108% 95% 140% 102% 98% 100%

Now lets take a look at his numbers in comparison after age 34, the alleged year he began using steroids.

Athlete R HR RBI BB OBP SLG OPS+
Barry Bonds 714 297 637 954 0.515 0.756 232
Willie Mays 683 207 613 591 0.376 0.499 146
Babe Ruth 728 244 806 704 0.465 0.653 194
Frank Robinson 401 136 435 403 0.375 0.483 145
Hank Aaron 655 274 756 600 0.373 0.533 151
Rafael Palmeiro 602 255 756 618 0.38 0.535 132
Ted Williams 523 197 575 692 0.478 0.634 191
Reggie Jackson 500 194 582 524 0.345 0.458 121
Dave Winfield 624 184 703 502 0.35 0.465 120
Stan Musial 553 183 698 545 0.39 0.514 137
Carl Yastrzemski 669 164 742 688 0.365 0.435 116
-
Average 593.8 203.8 666.6 586.7 0.3897 0.521 145.3
Bonds/Average 120% 146% 96% 163% 132% 145% 160%

Well it is obvious that his stats were very blown up, so what would his stats look like if he wouldn't have taken steroids?

Table Four: Steroid Adjusted Statistics
Athlete R HR RBI BB OBP SLG OPS+
Avg - Age 34-40 593.8 203.8 666.6 586.7 0.3897 0.5209 145.3
Bonds/Avg (34-40) 120% 146% 96% 163% 132% 145% 160%
Bonds/Avg (20-33) 106% 108% 95% 140% 102% 98% 100%
-
Adjusted Stats 628.3 219.5 636 820 0.396 0.508 145
Steroid Adjustment 85.64 77.5 0.692 133.5 0.118 0.248 86.7

"Applying the pre-steroid ratio to the post-steroid average of the ten comparable players, one can calculate adjusted statistics that might have been had Bonds not taken steroids. This calculation shows that approximately 77.5 of Bonds' 297 homeruns, or 26%, (from age 34 through 40) were attributable to steroids." (Ben Alamar, ProTrade.com)

Are you convinced yet?

I happen to be a firm believer that America's pasttime mirrors all that is good and bad about the United States, and to that same respect, American life. The corruption, the cheating, and the betting has all destroyed the heart of what our country stands for. What happened to the legends of old? The Sultan of Swat, The Iron Horse, Hammerin Hank. America is the Field of Dreams...from the greatest baseball movie ever made "The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again." Is this what we want to remember...cheating, corruption, for fame and a few more dollars in the players' and owners' pockets?

Barry Bonds was asked if the 2006 season was going to be his last, considering he is a mere 48 shy of Hank Aaron's all time mark. His response? "I've never cared about records anyways." The most coveted record in baseball, let alone in all of sports...and he just simply doesn't care? Thats not good enough for me, and thats not good enough for baseball.

So what about baseball's cheaters? Oh, they will be remembered as some of the best, but to quote from Sandlot: "Heroes get remembered, but legends never die." So what about me? I'm crossing my fingers for Hammerin' Hank...because Barry's next 48, and the last 77.5, are null and void.

What I learned from the father of communism

"The production of ideas, of conceptions, of consciousness, is at first directly interwoven with the material activity and the material intercourse of men, the language of real life."

-Karl Marx, The German Ideology


German people are weird.

What if we are just God's salt, and he is just waiting to eat us?

There are only three kinds of people: writers, singers, and the dead.

God has a way of putting things into context.

Colon rectum

I don't know what you were thinking, but that is the scientific name for the leiodid beetle, I'm surprised you didn't know that.

Canadian Fakin'

A shuttle bus from a strip club drives by us on the street and yells
"Do you want some free passes!? -Crazy Stripper Lady
"What!?" -Nathan
"Do you guys want to see some tight asses!?" -Crazy stripper lady
"NO thanks... I don't wear glasses!" -Nathan

A lady on the corner asks us if we want coupons for something (In English)
"I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish" -Nathan


After watching an army ad on t.v.
"The army is for poor people who don't care if they die" -Nathan



To a hot waitress
"Why do you have to be so hot that we have to tip you every time you bring us drinks? This is stupid. Can't you be uglier next time?" -Jared

Ordering pizza
"On half that pizza I'd like Canadian bacon please" -Me
"What is this Canadian bacon?" -Response from Canadian pizza place
"Uh...nevermind" -Me

Derek proceeds to put on his underwear in front us
"What the hell!" 10 second pause.... "Did you just put your underwear on in front of all of us? Why don't you do that shit in the bathroom like a normal person?" -Me
"What? I was facing the other way." -Derek

After seeing Nathan's delapidated toothbrush
"Dude, what the hell is the matter with your toothbrush? When was the last time you changed it?" -Me
"I don't know...haha" -Nathan
"It looks like a toilet bowl brush." -Me

In the Car

"How long do you think it would take to comb your hair with a toothpick" -Me

"OOHHH!!!! Prehistoric Forest!!!!" -Derek and Jerry




Quotes that I don't quite remember

What does heaven taste like?
"Heaven tastes like electronics + fish" -Me

Is this the drunkest you have ever been?
"No, there was this one time I was drunk in space and there were these monkeys...and bananas, and I was like 'hey man, what are you monkeys doing here'...and they were like 'didn't you know that there were bananas in space?'...so I was like 'oh, sorry'"

"This room is an oval, and I am the yolk. (To Derek) You are the whiteness, cause you are white. I'm the yolk cause I send out the missions."

Canada was fun, and made us all say and do some really stupid things.