Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Sometimes it is a little frightening being in a new place. Being completely honest, it can be downright terrifying. It is never easy being somewhere unfamiliar, having to make new friends, and having to deal with new challenges. Even when I went home last weekend I really didn't feel myself, and I had trouble letting go and just enjoying my family's company. This weekend reminded me of something, though. When the going gets tough, you just have to buckle down and enjoy the ride. I've been a little down in the dumps the last few weeks, and really feeling the weight of my decision to attend law school fully. First there was the exhilaration of being on my own in a new city, then there was the realization that I was in for the long haul without being as close to my friends and family, with an incredibly challenging curriculum ahead of me, and a lot of debt to face when I'm done with school.
Perhaps this is an experience that everyone deals with at some point in their lives, not necessarily graduate school, but when you have to make a tough choice and deal with the consequences. Yeah, it is scary. Yeah, it is challenging. Yeah, it is going to be a long ride. But what I found out is that I still have it better than I ever realize. I paid a visit to some friends and family in Bloomington, got to sleep on some nasty couches, crack jokes with my old coworkers, and throw back a couple of pints while listening to a jazz band that sounded more like elephants being burned alive.
I think that sometimes my greatest fault in this whole experience is not letting tomorrow worry about itself. The worst part is the guilt of not understanding why you feel unhappy, when you have everything in the world to be thankful about. That is the greatest sting of all. That aside, I remembered that just trying to do whatever you can to live in the moment is sometimes the best remedy for anything. When I think about my struggles with my faith, and with staying grounded while I am away from home, I am reminded of why Jesus was such an amazing man. This was a person who did nothing in his life but live in the moment for all those around him. Sometimes you just have to go out and shoot a couple games of pool with your brother and sister. Sometimes you have to talk with your best friend about what he is excited about in his life. Sometimes you have to let the worries wash away, and live in the moment for those you love. Because the greatest thing to remember is that you are who you love.
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